On the Road

Let’s Talk About “Stuff”

Let’s talk about stuff…For a week I stared at the suitcases I brought down from the attic. I procrastinated and procrastinated until I ran out of time.

Finally, had to do it. I had to pack. You’d think this would be easy for me. I mean, I used to be a travel writer and I had this packing thing down to a science: I’d take the same few outfits and my bathroom bag was always ready to go. But, this time was different…..whatever I packed would be my “stuff” for about the next three months. So, I looked at stuff, my stuff, a little differently.

Sure, I could just toss things in a suitcase – knowing that I’m not going to the Amazon and I can always buy things that I may need or forget. Or, I could turn this into a different sort of exercise: an exercise in minimalism. I chose the latter. As I pulled things out of drawers and out of my closet, I looked at each “thing” and thought, “do I really need this?” As it turns out, I don’t really need a lot. None of us do, really. And as I packed my stuff away, I took a closer look at my messy closet. It’s not a big closet and I share it with my husband Joel. When he moved in three years ago, we considered enlarging the relatively small closet or building a new one. Instead, we took the attitude that if it gets too crammed in this here closet, we’d just make more space by giving things away. Neither of us buy much in the way of clothes and I practically live in yoga garb (digressing just a bit: I did go shopping this month as I realized I might need some more “street” clothes). Joel and I both talk about the day when we will leave this big house and take everything we need with us – in our cars.  But STILL, there is a lot of STUFF in here and STUFF I don’t need.  Let’s be honest: Most of us could fit everything we truly need into one small bag. As the Beatles say, “All You Need is Love” — and, may I add, a well-worn sweatshirt, iPod, and iPad.

I managed to quite easily fit my clothes and some other miscellaneous items into one large suitcase weighing 46.8 pounds and one small carry-on sized suitcase. For all you chicas out there: I even decided against taking the white shoes (although they are absolutely OK after Memorial Day, according to my Jewish mother), clogs and hiking shoes. Instead, I opted to take just a few pair of bare essential shoes. I must admit that I bought a pair of $85 walking sandals at REI last week because I thought I would really “need” them. I  guess the dog didn’t agree and she broke into my room last night (really, the door was closed but she can jump up and hit the door pull to open it) and stole one of these shoes right out of my suitcase! Oops, there goes part of a heel and yup, this is getting to be a trend (see the Post: Oops the Dog Ate my Tap Shoe). At 11 o’clock last night I stared at this shoe and ya know what? I deemed it “wearable” and tossed it back into the suitcase.

So, here I am…… sitting here on a plane to Los Angeles with just a backpack (no purse, I might add) containing this here laptop, some snacks and water, my phone, my iPod, my GPS (can’t live without that!), my iPad (for reading purposes), camera and a few other things. Besides not a lot of clothes and a well-heeled sandal, a few other non-negotiables in my suitcases are: my pillow, eye pillow, yoga mat, and flat-iron (OK, I know, it’s frivolous but a girl’s got to have at least one G-rated guilty pleasure that she can’t leave behind).

There you have it….I didn’t bring much stuff. And you know what? I already feel lighter! Why? Well, you guessed it and here goes – a bit of yoga philosophy for you from 30,000 miles high….

Most of you reading this live in a Westernized country where we have all of our basic needs plus some. We don’t think twice about pulling into our garages or driveways in our cars and turning on lights. We don’t think about how lucky we are to live in a home with furniture and how it easy it is to just swing open the fridge to grab a bite to eat. And in fact, we tend to go through life accumulating things and sometimes we even like accumulating stuff more than we like the stuff we have. Huh?

Paring down stuff is cleansing. Word.

With that, I am going to try a little experiment. I plan to be home for a “visit” in May and you know what I’m gonna do? Before I get home, I will think about all the things in my closet I miss. I’m thinking it will be a short list but you never know. Then, I plan to get rid of 80% of my already slim pickings of a closet. Because if it’s not in my two suitcases already, it didn’t make my “stuff” short–list and I likely don’t need it. Plus, I have enough baggage already.

Categories: Accidental Stage Mom, On the Road, That's Life!, Yoga | Tags: , , , | 9 Comments

Who Are the People in Your Neighborhood?

I thought last week was strange. Until this week hit me square in the face.

I’ve moved many times: to new states, new cities, new towns. It’s been said that moving is one of the most stressful things you can do in life. In fact, it’s right up there with getting divorced, having a baby or any other major life change. Nonetheless, for years I was a chronic “mover”. I think I actually thrived on the excitement and stress of changing my scenery every year or two. Maybe that’s why this upcoming move feels so very different on every level. I’ve been in Sharon, in this same house, for nine years now.  Ironically, the only other time I’ve lived anywhere longer than this was ALSO in Sharon, Ma. — the house I grew up in, where I lived for 11 years.

For the first time in memory, I actually feel truly connected to my community on many levels, especially my fellow yogis at Breathe Joy Yoga and the people in my neighborhood. In fact, I have been going about my business this week humming the tune  “People in Your Neighborhood.” Anybody else out there remember this song from Sesame Street circa late 70’s? I don’t dare mention this stuck-in-my-head song to my teenage kids lest they think I’m crazy. But it’s true. Can’t get it out of my head.

This week has been a series of verbal and silent goodbyes (till we meet again) to all the guys behind the deli counter at The Main Course market, my yoga students and teachers, Mark at French Memories (who gave me a cup o joe on the house and I put the cash right back in his tip jar), Rosa and Susan at Citizen’s Bank, my hairdresser Sara at Visions, and even Kaitlyn and staff at physical therapy.  Oh, and I can’t forget Bob the Builder. I’ve seen Bob every day for about five weeks during my home remodel project, which won’t be done until well after I am gone. And all week I’ve been humming  “People In Your Neighborhood.” You see, I have realized over the past couple of weeks just how much these people mean to me. In some cases, I don’t even know their names. Nonetheless, they help me get through my days and weeks on an ongoing basis. Oftentimes when we think of our connections and community, we consider our family of origin, religious organizations (church, temple etc.) and close friends. This  contributes to a grounding feeling, enhancing first chakra energy (see the post “Life in a Snow Globe”). But all these smaller connections with the barber, the banker, the teacher etc. are equally important. How many of us stop and consider how much the people in our neighborhood do for us? I know I never did until now.

And this got me thinking…… I’ve moved so many times and lived in so many places including California, London, Spain, and of course, Massachusetts. But I’ve never been so sad about leaving people in my neighborhood. But this time is different. In every other case, where I have left community to move to another town, I have done what we all do when we arrive in a new place: start putting down roots and getting to know the new “people in our neighborhood.” We find a new doctor, hairdresser, dry cleaner, yoga teacher/studio, gym and so on……It doesn’t happen overnight but eventually we find community again. Yet, I won’t have enough time in any one place to find all these neighborhood folks to help my life tick. That’s because when I leave Sharon — tomorrow morning — I go to L.A. for one week, then New York City for five weeks and then a new city each week for the next month or so. In July, I land back in Boston when Billy Elliot is playing here and I can’t tell you how much I am looking forward to that.

The whole feeling of being dropped from place to place without a community web is strange and a bit unnerving. As I got my haircut yesterday, I wondered, who will cut my hair next? If I need any dental work, I’ll have to find a random dentist close by to my hotel. Indeed, living with this type of uncertainty for an extended period of time isn’t sitting so well right now.

I haven’t been able to shake this feeling. Although I am so excited for my son Noah and can’t wait to join him tomorrow, I am feeling a bit lost. Tonight I will go see my older son Ethan perform with his comedy troupe, Improv Soup. I’ll be laughing in the audience with family, friends, and familiar faces. I will feel a sense of community and belonging. I will feel a sense of routine. Tomorrow I will be on a plane to another city, leaving my family and community behind. I will have to draw on the strength of my yoga practice to help me find connectedness — not just to myself but to all those around me, familiar or not so familiar.

For yoga newbies, one definition of this ancient practice  is “union.” The Yoga Sutras is a book that is sort of like a non-religious bible or roadmap for how to live a more meaningful life. According to Swami Jnaneshvara Bharati, “Yoga means union of the parts of ourselves, which were never divided in the first place. Yoga literally means to yoke…which means to join. Sutra means thread, and this thread, or multiple threads, weave a tapestry of insight and direct experience.”

I know that staying grounded and rooted will come from within me and I will weave “sutras” or connections to others, creating new experiences wherever I go. Stay tuned as I reflect on nail salons, yoga studios and all sorts of people who cross my path. These are the people in my neighborhoods. The people who you meet each day.

Categories: Etcetera, On the Road, That's Life!, Yoga | Tags: , , , , | 9 Comments

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