Breaking Up Is Hard to Do

Breaking Up is Hard to Do………….

But so is hanging on. Trust me on this one. It’s sort of like standing in quick sand, not that I have ever actually done this. Nonetheless, I imagine this is what it feels like. You want to leave or set yourself free. In some instances, you want to run, fast. But you can’t. You’re stuck. Every time you try to free yourself, you seem to sink in even deeper.

Hypothetically, if you are in this type of situation, what do you do? You either stay stuck and keep sinking OR you find some way to break free. Sometimes it’s easier to remain stuck. You know the environment and your little spot is familiar and comfy. What’s the alternative? The unknown. Yet somehow, you KNOW you need to cut yourself loose. But this takes courage and it’s scary to venture beyond your comfort zone.

Still with me? I’m going somewhere here, I promise. Let’s back up a bit. You haven’t heard a peep from me in oh, almost three months. You could say I’ve been stuck in the quick sand and it’s not too far from the truth, metaphorically speaking. I’ve had some big decisions to make and opted to simply not make them for months. All the while, I sunk in deeper and while this was going on, my life became more and more stressful. I knew what I needed to do, yet I couldn’t do it.

I needed to close a door — at least for a while — in order for others to open. To simplify: I needed to stop running Breathe Joy Yoga, the business I opened nine years ago and have been operating from the road for almost a year. It was becoming insurmountable. What seemed like a simple business to outsiders was way more complicated than it looked.

Here I am, traveling full-time with my son AND trying to balance the books, schedule classes, manage a staff, communicate with customers, handle payroll, send out marketing e-blasts, keep up our social media sites and more. I wanted to give it a try. I thought I could do it all. But I couldn’t. It was exhausting me. Stressing me out. Stressing my family out. Stressing my manager out. Not only that but I started to resent the studio and yoga in general. I wanted to devote my time to my son and the show but there was always something else that I had to handle. It was just too much. But yet I could not let go. Not for six months. I knew in September that I needed to give it up. But it took me six months to do it. Tomorrow (April 1) is our last class at Breathe Joy Yoga. At least for a while. Ironically, I will be home this summer. So why couldn’t I  keep the doors open for another few months until I return?

It was time. Time to let go. Period.

It’s hard to let go of anything you care about. We’ve all been there. How many of you have held onto something or someone for way too long? When you finally make the decision to break away, you instantly feel relief — if for no other reason than you simply made a decision despite how difficult it was. Tomorrow I will be free. It doesn’t mean I won’t be sad. It took me nine years to build my business from the ground up. But I feel good about this decision. I have no regrets because it was the right choice.

So now, when I get home this summer, I won’t have a yoga studio anymore. Maybe I will teach yoga classes elsewhere. Maybe I will teach in my studio once again. Maybe I won’t teach at all. Maybe I will sell my studio, my business, my house. Maybe I will tour again (I know, my tour friends are laughing now!) Maybe I will write a blog post every day. Maybe I will do nothing for a while. Maybe I will relish in spending more time with my kids, husband and dog. Maybe I will travel. Maybe I will move to another city or state or country. Maybe I will learn to bask in the complete unknown. Maybe — no, certainly — I will feel grateful that I can make choices and have the complete support of my family.

There is one thing, however, that I know for sure. Doors that had been shut tight will now open because I was brave enough to set myself free. This is how it works. I’m ready to see what’s on the other side.

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Categories: Accidental Stage Mom, Etcetera, On the Road, Philosophy, That's Life!, Travel, Truth, Uncategorized, Writing, Yoga | Tags: , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

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11 thoughts on “Breaking Up Is Hard to Do

  1. So well written–sad but hopeful. Lots to look forward to. Looking forward to seeing you soon.

  2. Aw Robyn, I’m both sad and happy for you.

  3. Mom

    Only you could have put those thoughts so amazingly into words. So happy for you that you have made a decision that will be best for you and your amazing family. Love you so much.

  4. Loretta

    Have you considered writing a book?

  5. donna

    Clarity will set you free 🙂 Bask in the unknown!!

  6. Vera jordan

    I wish you all the luck in the world. Thanks for so many years of dedication and sharing.

    Vera

  7. beisner

    Good luck and good for you!
    On to the next journey. ox

  8. Colin W. Stetson

    Hi, Robyn,
    Certainly, your blog touched me rather deeply as I had those conflicting feelings of joy and sadness when I left the coaching profesion and Culver Academies after 40 years of service. I have met you on a few occasions following Noah’s performances having written reviews for the Forum on his monumental performances. You might recall I presented a copy of a couple of those reviews to you both. Suffice it to say, Noah’s performances will long be remembered amongst the absolute best of the dozens upon dozens of Billy Elliot musicals I’ve viewed across the globe.
    I genuinely believe his extraordinary success and the sacrifices you and your family have made on his behalf are very much responsible for his elevation and status both on the stage and in person. It would just seem to me that all the stress and anxities you may have felt through this run of his has been worth its weight in gold and will continue to be proven each day as you all move forward.
    I do wish you well and will hope to cross paths with you again in Grand Rapids as that will be my final opportunity to watch Noah perform and to report on another sterling performance of his.
    I do congratulate you for all you’ve done, which is just another way to express gratitude to all of you for the joy I’ve experienced through the musical.

    Kindest regards, Colin W. Stetson

  9. Heidi White

    The Breathe Joy Teacher Training Program and teaching yoga at the Studio are experiences/memories I will cherish for a lifetime. I am so grateful to have found your Studio and have been blessed to be part of the Breathe Joy community. Thank you Robyn for helping me make Yoga an integral part of my life!

  10. Hi all,
    Sorry for the delayed reply but I really appreciate all the comments and all of your support. Living in the moment and looking forward to the future! Keep calm and carry on 🙂

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